so high driving around just saw a woman in a pink shirt chillin riding a horse
so high at work that a 35 year old with his kids handed me visine and winked at me. you win with the horse though
At Bonnaroo. Just saw a couple emerge from a port-a-potty. Romantic?
is her vagina suppost to smell like dirty taco bell?
he showed up at my house with a hand-stiched sweater that said "girlfriend?"
At least he could have found a MILF, she's a dbl bagger. No wonder he goes to counseling.
Yeah..you can't spell Prozac without Zac(h).
when you get a chance can you look up 'free abortion clinic' for me? cuz i dont think i'll be lucky enough for a second miscarriage.
She told me she cured her bulemia by popping hydrocodone after she ate. that way she would be rewarded for not puking. I like the way she thinks
there are certain things about getting into a cab to go home at 630 am that make me feel like a prostitute.
Not only was there cake on the wall but someone shoved cake and meat in a cup and put it in the fridge.
He insists on falling asleep with his penis between my buttcheeks. He says its his "home".
Obviously he considers you not fucking him as fucking up. Thus making him fuck up. Based on this I believe he should be disqualified from the race to your vagina.
How did I roll 7 times this month and survive?\nI must be some sort of ecstasy goddess
If you were more comfortable around gay men, then you too could get wasted at the gay dance club and go home with hot girls.
His dad was on the tv delivering the local 11 o' clock news while we were having sex
I wouldn't call us friends exactly. Honestly I just hang out with him so I can hit on his girlfriend. They won't last long, and I'll be there to pick up the scraps
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