while you've been gone this has kinda turned into some sort of fivesome-type thing. just thought i should warn you for when you get back
You came back with four clearly unattractive women and wanted to throw a dance party in my room.
Who faxed a picture of their penis to the office printer?!
I think she was eating a cup of ramen noodles while we banged, or had a seizure
let's be real here, you have a beautiful vagina. this kid is a doctors son. that's a remedy for beautiful rich grandkids. he is just trying water his family tree, and make sure he doesn't end up in some piece of shit adult home. go for it.
You're really doing everyone a disservice by wearing pants all the time.
YOU CAN'T JUST DO COKE AND THEN CALM DOWN
He wanted to drink hypnotic from my butt crack. I need to move out this state.
Last night I passed a kidney stone as I came inside her. Worst. Experience. Ever.
I'm all for hockey players but dude, he asked me to lick his chipped tooth mid-hook up.
I didn't know where you were for like 15 minutes and then I went in the bathroom splashing water on the mirror and throwing hand towels around saying that you were "redecorating"
I woke up naked and only wearing cowboy boots, wrapped in a curtain that was still attached to the pole
He has me blocked on facebook.... so I stalked him using my cats fan page.
Dude, I danced with Abe Lincoln! How could last night have been any better???
So do I get points for screwing my recently single ex boyfriend and then telling him to go fight for his ex back?
Randomize
