oh my she just said cum sticks to her dentures so when she blows if they let her she takes them out
Update. It gets worse. A) he's done viagra and B) he wears socks at all times.
Pants on the Ground is the theme song of my life
Its piss that you smell... I borrowed that shirt last week. Sooo, wanna grab some laundry soap on your way home? And good luck on your date.
Dude i was hungover i didnt know she was in the shower, she screamed i screamed we all screamed and i just so happend to piss in the shower.
well that explains the french fry and ketchup packet rolled into the wasitband of my sweats. thank you drunk me.
And after getting thrown out of the frat house, getting carried up the hill for a half an hour, puking 5 times, and almost getting stopped by campus security, she still insisted he sleep with her. Gotta give her credit, even blacked she kept her eyes on the prize
Nobody is here, I still yelled for someone to make me some toast. That my dear is commitment to doing nothing.
She sneezed like 10 times, put her head down on the table and then laid down on their couch and fell asleep. In the middle of the dominoes game. I'll never understand why my dad continues to provide my mom wine.
We had an in depth conversion about the best way to take a dick pic. Both with and without mirrors.
Today I had sex and flossed at the same time. My relationship goals have been exceeded.
Will Smith has a direct hotline to my emotions
So you think Jesus would be proud of me for walking of shame into my apartment 10 minutes before I told my parents I'd be over for Easter?
I don't even think NICOLE made a fool of herself last night...
your aware she lit herself on fire, right?
My goal tonight is to be arrested by the Police Women of Cincinnati.
Randomize
