awoke with 47 plastic lawn flamingos in my bed and on surrounding floor. explanation?
you said they were your minions of evil that protected you from ferrets.
I made out with him with my retainers in. My drunken hook-ups get lazier and lazier.
im trying to stop thinking of him and his amazing dick. every time i do i snap myself with a rubber band. classical conditioning at its finest...and you said i wouldnt learn anything from psychology.
using the campers leftover pizza money at the bar. Definition of great counselors right here.
oh, i've got big weekend plans. on an unrelated note, do you think viagra will work if the guy is roofied?
if you ever get a chance to, fuck in a lecture hall. great acoustics. highly recommend it.
Gregs sitting in the living room in his underwear hitting the bong watching a rob schneider movie. His lack of fuck giving is inspirational
I CAN FEEL MY HEART BEATING MY WHOLE BODY
Did we pole dance in front of my boss last night or was it just me?
I'm gonna fight the coyote
Sometimes I wish I could tell all my past/present hookups what the nicknames that my friends and I have assigned them.
I'm getting reacquainted with drunk me. She has grown up a lot.
I wasn't that drunk.
You were calling my cat 'Simba' and holding him up in the air.
He's the douchy one who wouldn't let me rip his shirt off, right?
Found your bra in my backseat. And yes it took me that long to finally clean it out from last weekend
Didn't even know it was missing, if that makes you feel any better
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