Fuck appropriateness.
you know it is a bad morning when you forget to brush your teeth and eat old gas x in your car because its minty...
is it bad that the only reason i knew what antidote meant in class today, was from years of playing pokemon?
dude...I wrote 15 jersey shore quotes on her body. she is going to do the walk of shame with snookie on her forehead.
Their flight hasn't even left yet and the 'buy food to keep yourself alive' budget is gone on tequila.
You're barking up the wrong lesbian.
Just ran into that guy that tried to take a dump in your pool
Listen. I'm a changed woman. I have no problem using him for sex.
Finished my senior thesis. How am I celebrating you ask? By drinking gas station white zif out of an empty candle holder by myself. I fucking deserve to graduate.
Apprently after I bit that bouncer, it all went down hill.
If he comes over tomorrow, im answering the door naked. Simple as that.
I'll send you pictures of my nipples so you don't feel left out.
Doing blow in the bathroom isnt the same without you
Do a rail off the baby station in my honor
Oh please. Preoccupy yourself with my penis.
I swear 2020 just keeps getting worse and worse
Randomize
