she takes plan B like it's going out of style
Apparently mid blow job I started crying telling her how "Wonderful this blow job is"
Sorry I wasn't really responding earlier. I was really fucking high and so into that car chase.
Would it be cruel if i sold xanax instead of adderall to freshman unfamiliar to the drug-taking profession?
I was told to ask you about memoirs of a geisha.
As i lay in bed, clutching my face, i'm starting to believe your dick in my eye story.
oh and i'm sorry i sold you for three cigarettes last night
I'm in the room..It's full of lost souls and sadness. I can taste the salt of their tears. This final might take a few freshman today..
he said he wished i had balls so he could kick me in them. then we had sex obviously
Like not in a "I wanna have sex with you way" more like a "I wanna cuddle your mustache way"
Can you get snapchat back so I can show you all the places I threw up in/on last night?
I'm gonna celebrate Valentines day by watching Bob Ross videos and tripping balls.
He flew in from NY last night. We had sex in the back of my car in the airport parking lot and then he fed me fresh Babka (from Breads Bakery) as I drove him home. I can't decide if I love him or Babka more.
HOLY SHIT HOLY SHIT HOLY SHIT HOLY SHIT
So I just ran in to the Couger you saw me take home last month who i haven't talked to since then at Wawa and she was PISSED.. APPARENTLY i fucked her niece last week
I walked in to you guys using a milk jug as a gravity bong
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