Theyre still fighting about whether its called america or the united states.
Today was my first day of hebrew and I learned how to say give me sex... I think I can quit now
I found his backpack for the weekend. All it had was ping pong balls, mardi gras beads, and Tums.
The TA leading my study session just said "now get outta here. I need to get drunk before class"
I'm at a nursing home getting weed. Lol when times are tough, things tend to get a lil weird
I told him I was very thankful for what his country has done to my vagina and walked away.
She just asked what would happen if you put a vacuum in your butt and turned it on. These are our conversations.
Using all my books as packing buffer for my liquor bottles. And you said being an English major was worthless.
I'm not sure... But I think I just found a porno I starred in during my black out week of '08.
You attempted what you called the "Long Island Heist", in which you shoved a half glass of Long Island down your pants and asked me to help you sneak it out. That drunk.
And here I thought that was one nut sack too many
I can empathize with sociopaths, serial killers, demons, gods, and monsters....straight white males are literally the only barrier to my 100% empathy rate. I don't get it.
I wasn't going to drink tonight, but was reminded this is the anniversary of prohibition being repealed. If I don't, then I am against my profession of bartending and anti-American, right?
I'll start working on my manners when you stop using please and thank you in the bedroom.
Did you clean my apartment?
I thought it was a dream, I'm sorry
Please stay more often
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