Can't remember why I called but it definitely had something to do with Lou Bega
the can pyramid on my head actually reached a decent height before I moved.
you say it like running around in your thong wasted is a bad thing
The idea of snorting emergen-c actually just crossed my mind.
I drink more single than I do in relationships. Except with assface.
It is becoming increasingly more likely that my entire halloween costume will be entirely composed of borrowed clothing from the two girls I'm hooking up
He wanted me to blow him while he did curls and looked at himself in the mirror. Not sure if gay or ego maniac.
That's the last time I get in a car with six rappers headed to god knows where.
If I get aids I am starting a lawsuit against snapchat.
Mostly what I remember is someone saying "raise your hand if you're too turnt" then raising my hand and falling
Using the money underagers give me to buy this semesters books.. My mom would be so proud
That was when I yelled "Wisconsin powers activate!" and took off sprinting across the ice
My one night stand asked me out to dinner. When he came to pick me up I got in the back seat. I thought he sent an uber. Awkward.
I want to conceive our bastard child on an athletic field. Why can't we make this happen?
I'm fairly sure I accidentally saw my dad naked last night
Randomize
