She told me she got a 15 on her A.C.T.. that's when I knew it was a done deal.
I hope you get used to having plenty of sperm because you're never gonna get any.
My mom just drunkenly told me i was conceived in the back of a car, at a Bon Jovi concert.
I hope you shit your pants in a socially devastating situation.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
You had sex with him even after he literally described himself as a "coldplay guy"? There's a line you just don't cross. There is a line.
I truly believe that the solid foundation of any healthy relationship is a drunken one night stand so I can just get all the nasty shit out on the table
I told her that I thought she needed an oral mammogram. With me being pre-med she bought it.
Still burping lighter fluid. Totally awful.
just let her blow you already, it's practically animal cruelty at this point.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Hey. Be honored that I consider you the genital expert. I know alot of candidates for the position.
Oh man. Realized I was high when I realized how long I'd been watching Roseanne
i know it happened because it happened right beside me, and at one point on top of me.
Crazy how fast a room full of drunk teenagers sober up when someone breaks his parents' new flat screen
Doing lines of coke through pieces of licorice. Because I can
I'm literally trapped as the little spoon on a mattress on the floor of an unfinished basement with a professional athlete snoring in my hair
Randomize