what i wouldnt give for a night at orourkes without seeing 3+people ive slept with
my bed looks and feels like i need to buy plan b.
can you take me to a tanning bed
sure, why though?
i have to go once so i can blame these herpes on the tanning bed and she won't get suspicious
I just saw a man salute the budweiser truck on the highway. I want to follow him and shake his hand.
new years resolution: more sex, less car punching, more chipotle.
I'm proud of our boobs and what they could potentially achieve in life.
its totally unfair that im just as ill-prepared as a 16 year old but there's no tv show for 25 and pregnant.
Sorority life is like alcoholic girl scouts, plus douchebags in polos.
I hope I bought a crossbow. Also I need to not drink that much
Don't smoke out front when you get home there's gasoline involved I'll tell you later
It's like an R Kelly music video in here. Only a matter of time before someone pisses on someone
. Drop what your doing. Were going to Knoxville for midget wrestling. It's the championship.we can NOT miss this.
I'm pretty sure I'm the first person in the history of this college to rollerblade their walk of shame.
Well I thought I saw everything and then I saw Christmas themed poop bags at Petco.
Yep, you're going to hell.
I take on this great possibility with a beer in one hand and the girl I'm gonna fuck later in the other
Randomize
