We made it safely. Thanks for the call though.
Great. Don't do shady things like that ok?
But he was like 75 and lives right near mom and dad. Not a threat at all.
I puked in a mailbox on the way back from your house.
You're only the seventh guy she's ever kissed. Somesones gunna get EPICALLY stalked
i feel like when youre not in my profile picture no one knows who i am.
Yea...but the guy who is beating me has a ponytail. So actually, I'm the winner here.
The lack of respect you have for your penis baffles me. I'd rather rub my ball sack on public toilet seats than stick my dick in some of those girls.
A simple 'no' would have sufficed
look. either you want to have late night naked sleep overs or you don't. do not involve dinner and extraneous conversations in this relationship.
I'm still amazed at how you managed to puke in every plant on the whole top floor at the mall without a single person noticing and without missing a step.
I tried to discuss modern art with a cab driver after explaining that I only had one shoe on b/c a pitbull ate the other one. Wtf. Call me when you can.
It's 9am. I'm four lines ahead of you already. Wake up.
NoShamevember. You game?
Getting stoned and sitting front row in a legal class.. Not my best idea
Ryan Reynolds is on sesame street right now. Dressed as a letter A but still sexy as fuck. PBS is so considerate of the stay at home mom.
Now I'm ashamed that I wore a bra
Just had to tell a NYC cop I was doing the Dougie in a houndstooth jumper so he could find me in the security video.
Randomize
