She said so on her MySpace, so it's gotta be true.
I'm sooo using this pickup line: "Baby, its not the 2.5 inches... Its the 200 pounds behind it"
guys don't fucking realize that the only place girl like their faces jizzed on is in PORN, and that "squirting" is piss. JUST FUCKING PISS.
Haha, bad night?
I was just about to go down on her when she gave herself a "smell check" and said "no, not today".
just saw a dude in a v-neck sweater on a bike drinking starbucks. way to feed the stereotypes white dude.
Just farted cum and thought I shit myself. Crisis averted tho
Why would he get rid of a girl with no gag reflex? I don't get it.
Just got a blow job while taking my online quiz. How is life in the dorms treating you?
She called me her guardian angel after I picked her phone up from the river of pee coming from her front porch.
I hope you dream of an avalanche of penises
You need a twittervention. You're better than this.
I just had a fifteen minute conversation with a Raccoon by the garbage bin. I was feeding it chex mix.
YOU DESERVE A GUY WITH A NORMAL DICK DONT SETTLE FOR ANYTHING LESS
Should I go bust a nut on the beach
Well the cops were called after the kid fell, but we saw 4 cute guys from our window while it was going down, so it wasn't all that bad.
Randomize
