Today in class was pretty awsome. I dont feel like i have to throw up and im actually paying attention. This is a first for friday
he ate out my asshole, i really don't think he gets embarrassed easily.
If there was a game called "keeping your legs shut," I would lose every time.
double majoring has taught me only that psych majors are sluttier than govt majors
He posted on my wall. Idk if I'm ready for that big of a commitment.
Next time he asks to wax your nipple while you're passed out I promise I'll be sober enough to intervene.
I keep telling myself last night was not real, not real, not real. Then I remember I can't move. This hangover is too fucking real.
Well get back to your date and give him the ceremonial 1am handy and text me when your done.
It's 11:50 on Friday the 13th. There's a full moon. AND the bride to be just puked on herself while getting a lap dance from a stripper named...wait for it....LUCKY. Is this real life?
Your dog took my vibrator out to the yard
Still drunk on my morning "run" which has turned into a walk. Just burped fireball
the bright side of moving is at least my Tinder options will refresh
THIS IS NOT A LAUGHING MATTER, CAITLIN. MY PARENTS ARE FUCKING. LOUDLY.
Yes, the maid of honor did just deep throat the mic during the toast. How do I follow that?
Just let a guy I just met eat me out in a shed at a baby shower. May have sunk to a brand new low
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