I wish I could be a nicer person. Or a more sober one.
stupid gm bankruptcy made me miss the showcase showdown
Those cock suckers. We need to know who's winning the hot tub and the vacation to the alps
it's one of those mornings where you are proud of yourself just for waking up.
she looked me in the eyes and called me a poet because i was singing lady gaga, then she fell over...
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You stole her bday cake and shared it with drunk strangers on the street.
Just found out I reached my $2500 deductible and I have a $5 million dollar cap on my health insurance. Let's get drunk and do something recklessly stupid tonight.
i think he drugged the pie. i'll get back to you on that later.
her boyfriend dumped her for my exgirlfriend. so filming our hookup is pretty much a definite.
My booty call just put me down for a reference for her job at the hospital. What am I supposed to say? She gives great bj's?
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You'd be proud! I didn't lose my id this time... It got confiscated
Is it wrong i wouldn't sleep with him because his boxers said #1 dad all over them?
Nothing too major over here lately. Just had a date with an ex-internet porn star turned lawyer. He said: "at my 3rd burning man I taught a workshop on BDSM" and I knew it was going to be a fun night.
In going to go underground and live with the mole people for a while.
I don't fucking know. He perched his parrot on his dick. I left after that.
I just want to bone him one last time before he moves across the country with his new (average looking) girl friend.