Yeah, it was perfect until the end. Apparently women are super attracted to me until the sleeping with part.
Apparently he doesn't remember leaving the bar
If I spent $100 at the bar and didn't get laid I wouldn't want to remember anything either
I just farted in the dogs face to show him who's boss
all the sharp corners in my house are covered with litter foam blocks. al set for partying
People Are Arguing Over This Guy’s Petty Reaction To Splitting Lunch With His Co-Worker
No I remember falling down the stairs I just don't remember it hurting.
it's so much work when my dad takes my car to get fixed, i had to take out the bottles, condoms, and my pipe
And then she proceeded to fling her bra around while screaming the rocket power theme song, still managing to not fall off the skateboard
i woke up to the sound of my roommate climbing onto my desk mumbling that she was going to bed
Apparently I told his new girlfriend to stop swallowing because she's getting fat. Oh, and I yelled this across a large room
Girl Logs Into Twitter Only To Find Out Her Dad Is Trending For The Most Outrageous Reason
This Halloween will be different. I'm just here to get shitfaced, not troll around looking for slutty nun pussy.
our next stoner-chievment: cream of shroom soup. Get over here, this is happening!
That's why you need to have them together. Katie started crying on the couch and she just gave her a tube of crackers and picked up a beer at the same time. She's like a goddess of making things chill
I need to wake up with a beard between my thighs more often, I'm a fucking saint.
Leave it to you to bring a trash can into a fist fight.
It will be the shitshow of all shitshows.