I drunkenly recorded an episode of Family Matters last night. I took a shot everytime Carl Winslow had a mustache.
she told me she sucks everyone's dick but mine because mine is too big and "hard to suck" i need to reevaluate the girls i fall in love with.
I've never heard a "this is the reason why i dont suck your cock" explanation go in that direction
thank you for introducing me to everyone on chat roulette as I was passed out.
Mom's drinking. Just asked her if she was good to walk back to the condo. She seemed unsure until she remembered she brought the GPS. We are 2 blocks from the condo.
23 People Confess Why They Don’t Talk To Their Best Friend Anymore
Today might be the day that I legitimately throw up in my saxophone.
You know, he picked a really shitty time to stop sleeping with me to pay attention to his girlfriend.
well he is only 50 percent black.. but after last night i am 100 percent not going back
I know you claim to have a large penis but I do not believe in what i cannot see. Sort of like god.
crossed #23 off the Slucket List!
YOU JUST MADE YOUR SLUCKET LIST THIS MORNING.
These 17 Delivery Dudes Suck At Their Jobs But Are Winning At Life
I'm going to crush up my last 7 Percocets into a fine powder and toss my popcorn in it.
I just think his face would be more attractiveif it was framed by my thighs
TIL a potato cannon can be loaded with dildos as ammunition. Boy, do our neighbours love us!
Idk I'm sorry it's weird to ask for testimonials on your penis
Hooked up with a 20 year old. Only reason I did was cos I thought he was 18
His dick is a spiritual experience and meditation is very important to me.