Sex don't cost a thang now that you can buy trojans with meal points.
Just watched 1 guy 1 jar with my mom. Awkwardville...
So I just went to student health services and on my way in there was a girl outside on her phone saying "I just dont want you to be angry" and on my way out she was saying "I have the side effects sheet right here" Someone started the semester off classy
did i by any chance text you anything about feathers last night?
you mean faeutihaers?
You seemed more interested in the queso dip than you were in the hand job
Im not spending 10 to get hit on by potential transexuals even if they are cuter than most of the girls I dated.
Dude, just look at these fucking curtains and chill out.
I come back upstairs and she's leaning over sink full of vomit saying 'oh my god it's the chili'
By the way seagulls wings are very soft. And the lesbian and or by sexual twins say hello. Be home in the little bit time frame.
Totally just drove past you riding your bike. I was like damn, that looks like a cute little hipster boy, and then I realized it was you and that I'd already banged you and it kinda made my day. I hope you're well. Come over soon?
I might as well walk around wearing a sandwich board and accept the fact that I'm dying single.
I've now fucked in every motel room in this small town.
I found a bar with Metallica and a fire eater. I'm home
She's officially a Tinder poltergeist.
Ok, not to minimize the significance of that beautiful anecdote from your childhood, but here's a video of my penis.
Randomize
