But I'm halfway naked in a seductive pose! I just want to get this right...
Having kids is risky. They might end up weird.
I was eating out this girl yesterday and when I finished, she asked me if I wanted to take any home with me. She was serious, dude!
What does that even mean?
You remember that guy Joey? The pastors son that plays Jesus every year?
Yeah?
Stuck it in his pooper.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
the taxi driver actually pulled over to let us moon a house full of people
Did someone do a keg stand in my bathtub?
FYI I just found your friend. Asleep. In. My. Kayak. In. Pool.
Then I hope you find a set of extremely intelligent, flexible triplets in the ethnicity of your choice.
That is the nicest thing anyone has ever wished for me
A big toe in my vag is not foreplay.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
so serious though like its almost like I'm playing a game that's my life and Im always losing
You slid down a wall, tried to pull your cast off and yelled that casts were too conformist.
I wore my Gollum shirt. It struck up a conversation AND got him staring at my boobs. That's a win-win.
I smell like playdoh, sex, and ruined lives. I love the weekend
Philosophical question for you: is it better to go into work slightly drunk or slightly coked out?
Nobody cheats on THIS.
Randomize