Oh and I watched laurens last episode on the hills. its been an emotional day
Nailed a drunk college girl before the CU game Saturday, and a drunk married woman after the Broncos game Sunday.
Some perfection is debatable.
thanks for stopping by when you did. making a meatball quesadilla while high was a bad choice
No. untill you have done a puke that contains nothing but semen and tequila, you do not 'feel my pain'
you have a cum towel under your bed, you're the definition of single
Your the only friend that would realize I'm gonna get drunk and send coke to me at a bar before I made drunken phone calls for it. You sir complete me.....
I'm eating dry tortillas on a mattress without a sheet. and i thought my life would change after graduation.
Honestly bro, I can't look at girls you've banged. Its like looking herpes in the face.
I can't figure out if I'm dying from all of the booze still in my system, or from the cement wall.
He was rocking just a diaper, shoes, and a gun. Sadly, I would still hit it.
And then he said "if you were planning on bird feeding me that's not ok"
I changed my birth control schedule so that I'm on my period while you're gone this week
I don't deserve you.
Stop getting drunk and running away. I can'tell chase you. Iim in heels and have big boobs. Running is a bad idea for me.
Remind me later when I want to buy more drinks that there's a 20 in my bra
I had to pee so bad that I snuck into the bathroom while they were in the shower. At her request, he was massaging her boobs so they could grow faster. Also there was a laser light machine.
Randomize
