Did you call me this morning? I was really drugged up and don't remember.
Have a good day. My vagina shrank.
i just googled 'classy porn'. high, low, i dunno i just got bored of cum shots.
i swear i just saw perry the platypus. the fuck dude. i shouldnt even know who that is
When i walked in, you were in bed with a hot chick rolled up in a green blanket and said you were acting like a caterpillar..
I spent an hour trying to convert bar outfits to church outfits. Its hard.
Did you know you could bring s cooler of beer to the nail salon?
So on a scale of 1 to Friendship-Over, how mad would you be if a rando I brought home sharted on the shag carpet in the living room?
oh yeah, there may or may not be a large boa loose in the house when you get home.
Yea. It was an issue. Great time though. Apparently I went through the coat check, put my coat on and forgot I had it so I tried to go through again and just didn't understand why thy weren't helping me. Dave coat checked his pants.
how does someone with a Masters Degree leave poop in an ashtray in the sink? It just blows my mind
Oh no. Did you guys fuck on my pull out couch?
Thanks for fingering me to orgasm during Wu-Tang Clan
while on the topic of showers...why is there apple juice in our bathtub?
ALL I WANT IN MY MOUTH IS A GLORIOUS COCK SMOTHERED IN CHOCOLATE. DICK AND CHOCOLATE; IS IT TOO MUCH FOR A GIRL TO ASK FOR?!
I don't know what it is about this quarantine, but I have never written this much smutty fanfic in my life and I am loving it!
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