wow. When I'm done with him he's going to have to pop his collar in necessity and not just douchery
Are u religion class? I'm on my way, I have cum in my hair. tell u later.
apparently the secret to your success is patron
just learned how to wash a penis. thank you nursing school for getting me the most action i've had in months.
He picked me up for our 1st date and saw my roommate crying on the floor Fabreesing her vagina...
Should have told me the night we were talking about deal breakers that vomming outside your car was one of them. I would have taken a cab back
Sunday is the day of rest.
As in, whatever liquor is left after last night, you have to drink the rest.
I need an adult. someone more adult than my current state
I'm more worried that you thought licking a pole on Bourbon street would turn me on
Dude, I'm trippin balls. For real, I thought this bag on my floor was my dog for the longest time...
I truly wish I could say I pulled my groin straddling our cab driver but unfortunately I cannot
I just used my citation as a bookmark. Want a beer?
He has a beach house and a Simba tattoo. Our wedding is next Tuesday, hope you're free.
I don't know how it started but we all ended up shirtless andI was covered in crawfish and wearing a sombrero.
It’s a dick. Seen one, seen em all. Unless it spews a fountain of tequila, I don’t need to see yours.
Randomize
