The best feeling....farting and having the bubble hit your balls
So I just saw a commercial for tickle me Elmo furry gloves. And I thought hmm I bet I could jerk off with those. Is that a sign of deepseated charachter issues?
she said "the two best ways to sober up are to nurse someone or give a blowjob" and im gonna go along with it.
bong water from a few floors above me just splashed onto my face when i was looking out the window. Happy 4/21 to me
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I was still in a towel. We hadn't even started drinking yet and the champagne bottle dropped and exploded literally up into my vagina.
Just wanted you to know two things, 1st I sent the second thing to a broad ive been talking too. 2nd that was not just a fart.
Yea, she's 42 I'm 23. Girls our age are terrible. All they need is a divorce and a bottle of wine
A big toe in my vag is not foreplay.
Oh okay. That's fine. I'll buy us both dinner when you bail me out
It's a post jail date
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Christopher Columbus didn't sail the ocean blue so I would have to go to class and not have sex with my boyfriend
Mmm. Champagne. Weed. 17 pounds of animal crackers.
all his sexual metaphors involve condiments, should I worry?
I knew my sister shouldn't have gone to the bacherlotte party. Two of the other brides maids have black eyes and my fiancé called me and asked if this is the crazy she's marrying
I'm disappointed in the internet. It's two days and there's still no fanfiction based off that Manning/Beckham commercial.
You don't even like football
Totally just got spotted hitting the bowl by someone else hitting a bowl. We gave each other a head nod
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