What should our trivia night team be named?
Define Statutory
she came over and started getting naked and said its not like i came over to just hang out
youve hit the jackpot
So I was watching the View and they were saying oral sex is the new goodnight kiss
So when are we having a sleepover?
Just found a hundred dollar bill on the ground. Hope you're looking to drink tonight
So... he formspringed me a link to every nude pic ive taken since he 8th grade. ive evolved nicely. but im nervous as to how this a website.
One minute we were getting noise complainted by the security guards the next I was shotgunning a beer with them
No way. Every time you have sex with him you'll end up staring into those eagle eyes and stop mid-orgasm.
i was drunk enough to give the cab driver my number when he said "you talk like you like guys"
Check 'smoke weed with our ihop waiter' off of our To-Do List
That time we were having sex when you were super drunk, I kept yelling out, "Oh God," and you said, "You're going to need him after this." Idk why I suddenly thought of that.
It might be whiskey, but I view Marge and Homer Simpson as something to strive for
Just masturbating and watching Sports Center...is this what it's like to be a guy?!
It's time you knew: I have been dating your probation officer for 7 months. Pretty certain he's THE ONE. So, thanks for being a criminal.
Grandma keeps pulling a bottle of captain from her pocket and spiking people's drinks.. She just yelled "I'm DAMN HOT to be a grandma!" .. I LOVE HER.
Tell me that I didn't just get ash in my Russian and just mix it TF in bc who cares and life has no meaning.
Randomize
