i wonder if she has dreads down there too...
and I didnt even know his name until this morning when we were laying in bed and he referred to himself in the 3rd person.
i have more money on itunes than i do in my bank account... college.
dude i just figured out that the tostitos sign is two people eating chips and salsa. being high totally pays off sometimes
so i had a dream that andrew cuomo ate me out. guess who i'm voting for?
i found him! he's on the front porch using a bag of potting soil as a pillow. i forgot i left him there.
I would makeout with my roommate, but im not drunk enough and she doesnt like bacon fat
IF HE CAN'T EVEN MAKE EYE CONTACT IN CLASS, I DOUBT THERE WILL BE OTHER FORMS OF CONTACT ON OUR FIRST NOT-A-DATE DATE
Second time this week margarita night turned homoerotic
Someone with the Instagram name "hymenbreaker" just liked a photo of me and my grandma. I feel ashamed.
It's Been clinically proven that people who have sex 6 or more times per week are happier than those who don't. Just and FYI. For your mental health. From a soon so be psychologist. Who is drunk.
Judging by your snapchat you're totally working on your project and definitely not singing, "The Sign" while shirtless with another man.
Could we try to replay the decision making process whereby only you and I bought and drank a keg this weekend? Because there were some fundamental flaws!
I was out of breath when we were getting started and he offered me his inhaler so he's a keeper
he BROKE his KNEE while we were getting it on, called 911 and the ambulance that showed up contained two paramedics, ONE WAS HIS FUCKING SISTER!!! HOW IS THIS MY LIFE?!?!?!
Poor life choices...?
Randomize
