I think i sorta joined a cult last night
Only you would think wine and coffee was an acceptable finals study time mix
No. No. And hell no. If you are driving a Honda Fit you are not allowed to give me a dirty look. No.
He didn't dress up but kept finding random pieces of costumes on the floor at each club. He was an 80s hair band warrior at the end of the night.
I am way too attached to fictional lesbians.
Hypothetical question. Say I was bleeding profusely, close to your house, and needed a place to go to clean up and perform minor surgery on myself. Like now.
Last night you told me to stop being Martha Stewart and asked if I had Taco Bell in my house
I feel so nauseous and all I want is string cheese. My life never makes sense.
dude his girlfriend left the meanest shit just marinating in our toilet. I'm gonna have to snap chat this out, theres no other option. prepare yourself
I need to get all the one night tinders in my system before I move back in with my parents
You got your ass kicked outside KFC on Tuesday
They're gonna put "is a hoe" on my medical records
Damn him and his beautiful face and body and penis.
All our friends are getting married, and I'm the dateless guy bringing molly to their weddings.
Bro, I live in a constant state of existential dread and moderate ennui. The prospect of cosmic horror doesn’t faze me that much.
Randomize
