i told him that if he starts being sappy its friends = off. he called me jerkface and drew on me w permanent marker. im either in love w him or we are twelve.
I think im in love with that girl with the googlie eyes last night. She was looking in my eyes and at my dick at the same time. we are going out again tonight.
So I've been thinking a lot since she told me she's prego. But what I want to know is why my voice of reason sounds like Thomas fucking Jane!?
I'm in the dining hall. that same guy is here again, the one who sits alone and talks to his silverware.
You woke up in the middle of the night and told me we won the sweepstakes, the penis sweepstakes.
Also, I had a dream I had a ray gun and woke up holding my dick.
it was like that last scene in "It's A Wonderful Life" but with alcohol
Use motel 8. I'll give you my credit card #. i'll pay for it cuz i care about your vagina.
I miss the days of selfishly blowing a load in the condom without her knowing and acting all like "we shouldn't do this" so she would get dressed and leave.
Just bailed on her the best way possible. Got tickets to the game. Only issue is.... if we lose, we not only lost, but I skipped sex to watch us lose
I'm telling you, this vagina is really making the rounds lately...
We were literally making dick jokes with his dick out
That’s the level of friends with benefits I aspire to achieve
will a lunchtime blow job make it better?
Should I wish him a happy birthday?
Well he has been inside of you enough times that you probably should.
So I wake up to my ex girlfriends underwear hanging from the ceiling fan and the only thing i can think of is "what time is the game"
Randomize
