how hairy? two words: wookie tits
apparently, "please pick me up from the airport" also means "i got drunk on the flight and need to give you roadhead in broad daylight"
Angelique from Rock of Love is now doing phone sex commercials for central illinois....id say she's going places.
Using pokemon references during sexual acts is always a good idea.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
She compared sex to doing dishes."You scrub them until they're wet."
Dude, somewhere around here makes 4loko slushies. I just decided coming home isn't so bad.
I just saw my first passed out person, sprawled out on the sidewalk like they died. I wanted to take a pic but I thought that screamed "tourist"
yea, there's something about a stripper whipping you with your own belt that makes you think
And I'm also limping. I just wish that I had self control. I'm 23 for fuck sake and I'm sitting at work, with mascara down my face, vomit on my clothes and an unknown black substance on my tits. How will I ever find my Greek husband if I keep this up?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Your first words after putting out the flames, "how am I supposed to eat girls out with my top lip burned off??"
Yeah no more flaming everclear shots.
We could be hammered at a childrens film. You failed me
i swear, you were born with a blunt in one hand and somebody else's wallet in the other.
I just watched my ex butt chug a quart of eggnog. Why did I dump her again?
That guy I hooked up with in new york last 2 statuses are "I'm going to be a father, it's a girl" then "wow syphilis sure does burn" I'm legit scared... What has my life come to.
there's still a lot i don't remember, like why my iphone's nailed to your wall
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