big game today.. looking forward to seeing that magic win, and then i will celebrate with a nude dip in lake Eola.. anyone else in??
Riding home in a carseat. Worst. Night. Ever.
You and I should start a club for people who woke up on outside on a bench with no idea how they got there.
he kept asking me "do you love it? tell me you love it" as I was riding him.
and...?
I told him it was alright.
Dude you make losing your phone an art. You left it balancing on a two liter bottle in the kitchen. Wtf
Let's drink?
Just because it's bacon vodka doesn't mean it's for breakfast.
They have a stripper pole on their deck. Normal.
Cause a man that looks THAT good must have an ass that tastes like lucky charms
Happy Birthday. May your liver respect you, fat bitches neglect you, hangovers reject you, and AA accept you.
If you don't ever hear from me again, just know that I loved you
Jesus Christ that's like a real possibility
Sitting in my car feasting on the spoils of Taco Bell as Donna Lewis croons "I love you, always forever." A more perfect moment will never exist.
I think snapchat is trying to tell you something. It's saying your boobs were meant to be seen by his family.
That broad from the bar put her name in my phone as "The girl I'm going to marry in 10 years".
you are singlehandedly the most cursed object the universe ever conceived
he put a condom on for a handjob WTF
Randomize
