haha i think we're both just down to be fuck buddies..but i do have a hickey and a bit of a big lip and fucking burns on my knees..note to self hooking up on a golf course is NOT that exciting
Like what kind of adult things? Whats more adult than drinking at 2pm on a monday?
I'm pretty sure that when my parents bought me those savings bonds they thought it would go towards something useful like tuition. Not your bail.
I told you I'd buy you lunch.
From now on, you must never doubt my ability to go from drunken rambling lovesick girl to Stepford wife within the course of a few hours.
Almost caused a huge accident on the highway because I was distracted by how orange the road barrels were
You can't have your cake and publicly stick your dick in it too
and everyone will high five me and girls will approach me offering blowjobs
I'm pretty sure he's playing the harmonica in my shower right now. I just really need to pee.
The dicks good but it's not two trains and a bus good.
I impressed him by taking off my panties without removing my pants.
My New Years resolution is to not hook up with random guys.
Mine is to not hook up with anyone who has a kid.
I'm bleeding and intoxicated as I'm walking to my final right now. Wish me luck
You handed me your heels and said, "barefoot running is all the rage." Then you proceeded to run home.
I don't know if I'm more disturbed by the fact that you hooked up with a dude with one arm, or that "hook up with a dude with one arm" was on your bucket list.
Hi I love you will you be up for a while!
That exclamation point was a drunk decision
Randomize
