I wish there was a classy way to show off your boobs.
I woke up and found 10 txts from him. All sent at 6:30 am, and all about the muffin man.
I'm sure it was awkward. I've never had a professor expose parts of them to me before.
I swear the pregnant cashier was jealous when I bought my plan B
just got in my apt...and theres jungle juice here i left from over a month ago..this could be interesting...or deadly
My arms are sore from holding up pukeahontas for so long
we're stoned watching those roller coaster simulators w our hands up screaming on our couch
He told me he loved me and then asked if we could have sex in the snow
Well sorry I accidentally spooned your mom and possibly threw up on you
A reason for us to be drunk all week National Singles Week
Please come home, i don't want to feel like basket garbage girl but I'm in your alleyway and not sure how to change that.
I only call her for sex and medical advice. She admitted she feels like a worried parent when her phone rings at 5 a.m.
Less than a month to go... I do not understand how I was able to put up with a roommate who wears bright green Crocs for a year.
Then years and years after that I will send you a picture of my warped vagina from all the kids that I had.
i just hope we're both dead or in prison at the same time
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