Dude she looked like Jerry Garcia's knuckles
Doug is wearing your sports bra fyi
So you maybe wanna hang out again? I could use the $5
Whatever I can do to help stimulate the economy
just sold my soul for a pack of cigaroos. little do they know they got the short end of the deal. suckers.
just thought you should know that she got home at about 6am.... totally wasted. she was locked out and when i finally came to the door she was on a patio across the street with some random making hotdogs on somebodys elses bbq.
so this guy on craigslist is offering a case of beer to shave his back. i think i'm gonna take him up on it.
I just woke up at my desk with "To Whommmmmmmmm" typed on a letter. I have no memory of waking up, getting dressed or driving in.
Right before we were going to have sex he said it was his "lucky condom" I don't know if that means its used or what.. But I'm freaking out either way.
Yes perhaps we are both wrong. And did you call me bj girl?
The 9th floor RA wants to know why we stacked 21 cinder blocks in the shower, and I can't remember. Do you?
I passed out drunk and Jane had created a picnic on my chest. I had chips and a hamburger laid out on my boobs. The only reason I woke up is she was trying to feed me too.
Just saw a dude take a shot in the parking lot in his car. Too early in the semester for that
And my cousin was so drunk he called an uber and instead he got into a cop car and they took him to the hospital
You introduced her by saying, "This is the girl who sexes me." Then you passed out on the coffee table.
We woke up on vday and got high and played frisbee in our living room for a couple hours and then had sex. It was probably the most romantic valentine's day i've ever had