What's the protocol for seeing the two girls you've been sleeping with in the store WHILE buying condoms?
3some
You're right, stupid question.
No, i know about the eggs and penis, the oh wow was for the fire
he tried to catch his projectile vomit...then went back to beer pong
The woman in the hospital bed next to me just got diagnosed with flea bites on her vag.
Whaaaaaat? No way.
Now a discussion of pigs vs. dog as carrier.
Mr. Clingalot just ran from our apartment. What the hell?
I started to cry afterward and mumble random things. Examples: "God, please don't make me be so gay anymore" and "my mom is going to be so proud of me for fucking a dude this time." It was that or let him stay the night and cuddle. I mean, fuck that horrible shit I'm a girl that needs her space.
She left her panties here. They looked SOOO much smaller last night.
Like real life can suck my metaphorical dick right now.
Nice. The Governor's son bruised my vagina.
That's going to be the title of my memoir.
dude ur drinkin a beer not ta capri sun. lose the straw
Pretty sure we ruined a bachelorettes life last night
YOU ARE STRONGER THAN YOUR VAGINA
Baked out of my mind. Went in the bathroom, a daddy long leg spider and a carpenter ant are battling it out on the floor. I brought my computer with some dubstep.
OMG THE ANT WON
I'd invite you over to drink but then I wouldn't be drinking by myself.
Intelligence report: the hot sister called you gross, the sweet sister says you're dumb, and the smart sister says all the other men she knows would have to die for her to hook up with you.
The only good thing about being back at work is supply room boom boom with my office husband
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