Taljing aboutpenisrs w gerruly ska pops
my mom noticed the "toothpaste" stain on my tshirt...she repeatedly attempted to get it off by licking her thumb and rubbing it. See Jenn it obviously doesnt taste that bad...
all i wanted to do was something grown up. like go to applebees and drink.
i woke up next to a ladle and a packet of chocolate biscuits that my face had melted into one giant biscuit.
FYI If I die in my sleep it is because I drank a bottle of coke from 1986. I needed a mixer
Would you feed me pudding while my fake tan dries?
Not drinking has really freed up a lot of my time. I made a bracelet yesterday. I miss bars.
yeah but think of how much more hungover we'd be if we didn't steal those cookies
It's all a blur. I just remember holding some strangers baby
Yah. Thai people are way too trusting
I can't handle dick pics with conversational captions
I'm gone to the point of literally hugging trees, partially for support, but also because I like them.
We need to find out what drug we took so we can take it everyday from here on out
Did i fall last night when u carried me home.
idk
OHHH yea you fell down the stairs face first
My parents are now taking hits off a joint. Thank you.
he's like the highest ranking tongue wizard i know.
Randomize
