at a party and just made O-H-I-O out of dicks and vajayjays...i hope someone took a pic i was too busy (; GO BUCKS!!!
Friend I haven't seen in almost a year just IMed me to let me know that my mom stuck her boob out the window on the freeway at her.
Her mom responded by mooning my mother. I really don't know what's worse.
two words: fractured penis. two more: emergency room.
As I was buying milk at the market, the lady at the checkstand said, "what? No alcohol today?" have I really earned THAT reputation?
Just did lines off a tackle box. Love Montana.
I just ate nachos topless with a fork. Live with meeee
i almost set my kitchen on fire last night. homecoming week is getting the best of me
Pissed along side the highway while waving at all the traffic... if thats not a sign of a productive night to come then idk what is
If I don't have hickies that last till tuesday, I didn't do this weekend right
Next year, please remind me not to be at a damn Super Bowl party with screaming children whose parents can't control them. I will sell the little suckers to the fucking circus passing through town.
I woke up in your kitchen with my ID in my hand and my nails were painted electric blue. Dude.... never let me have fireball again.
not only was there glitter in the toilet after i peed, but there was some on the toilet paper after i wiped. this cant be healthy.
You know what...ii have the turtles...were together....i love these god damn turtles...
is it bad that im laying on a beach towel in my room with my lights on high pretending to be tanning on the beach in the summer?
I now have scissors specifically made for cutting dicks off.
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