I told u I don't really remember everything lol i pretty much remember not lasting as long as I norm and that I wore a condom, I hate condoms
I just sneezed alcohol in a candle and started a fire.
my cup is half full, half full of rum.
is that a crab cake on the shelf with the dvd's....?
Feeling better?
I can stand long enough to do the dishes finally. Been trying that all day.
Some chick asked if she could eat me because I'm dressed as a taco. I introduced her to RJ. Best Wingman.
For the record, just because I'm a mess doesn't mean I don't know what I'm talking about when I give you advice. I'm way better at other people's lives.
Actually let's just focus our energy on not getting committed to a psych ward.
my grandma just gave me a shoebox fulled to the top with tootsie rolls and condoms with a not that said "enjoy college, find a big cock" i'm not sure how I feel about this
Good luck getting that all cat food off in the shower dumbass
I remember looking at his body and thinking wow you have a body sculpted by Jesus himself. Still not sure if I said that out loud or not
It's been 12 hours since I have heard from you and social media has given me no indication you are anything but dead, so that's what I'm going with.
I know it's my dream I got hurt enough to leave work but not hurt enough to stop drinking
The worst thing about buying this extremely comfortable bed is that once I get a girl into it, all she wants to do is sleep. I want my fucking money back.
There was puke outside of my classroom and lecture was half empty. Damn thirsty thursday is intense
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