i would rim the shit out of meg ryan
That's the great thing about NY, if you pee your dress you have an entire cab ride to air dry your panties before the next club.
Are we going out tonight?
My conscience says no but my vag says yes
HOLY FUCK COMFIEST CHAIR EVER
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
You definitely in your drunken state were really concerned you would forget to buy milk today
He's claiming he can open a beer bottle with anything. He's been trying for a while now with a power rangers action figure and he is just cutting the hell out of his hand. There is blood all over billy
Check the mailbox while you're out!
I already looked this morning. You go check and see what you won on Ebay after your day drinking spree.
Hatred of squirrels is the least of my hereditary problems.
We put a ban on pants at an unusually early point in the night.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
All of my Tinder matches have neck tattoos. It's like God wants me to go to jail again.
I have a bad feeling I'm going to like this fuck buddy
She just left someone a voicemail saying 'you better not have plans Saturday night, cause I'm going to sit on your face.'
Please tell me I made it home with both shoes on
Nope
I woke up at 6 and was laying at the top of my stairs.
Santa tracker drinking game, you in or what?
Randomize