his cum shot went directly into his bellybutton. felt like i was playin ski ball
she went home with me because she said i reminded her of paul rudd. remind me to thank him for his awkwardness
I would get the one fuckin stripper that's a lesbian. THE ONLY ONE
just heard this guy tell a story about how he got boat head. i want his life
I have never made a good decision in that bathroom...
i'm surprised you didn't wake up. like i literally came when he was fingering me as i was spooning with you and all you did was mumble "that's a good idea, mom" and pull the sheets away from me.
About six hours after the bottle of smirnoff, I was googling "losing your stomach lining" and calling my mom for help. She has experience.
Okay the common myth about putting tampons in you nostrils for a nose bleed is busted. It just starts coming out through your throat.
Yep and i guess after he came back from that he sat down next to me and i just put my hand right on his penis just casually like it was his leg
JUST MADE A FLAMING SLED. MIGHT HAVE 3RD DEGREE BURNS.
I don't think we had sex because when I woke up he was still wearing the chicken suit.
We fucked in his mom's shower and all I could think about was being too old to be sneak banging while someone's mom was out of town and how much mildew was on the shower curtain. Fuck you, Adulthood.
What would you say is a healthy ratio of sex vs. being called a fucking asshole in a relationship?
He skipped an important family function with his dying father to fuck me. Terrible human, amazing fuck buddy.
I thought i was doing pretty well but I walked into my first class and everyone on my side of the room immediately asked how drunk and high I was
Randomize
