Hope the move went well! I'll miss you!
you are a cunt and I hated living with you and your skeezy boyfriend.Just thought I'd get that out there.
I just met a guy from Australia at the bar. I asked him what it was like down under and he told me if I went home with him he'd let me find out. I love Australians.
so chris just stuck his hand between rachel's legs and yelled 'TROUT!' and we were like...you're wasted
TLC. RIGHT NOW. PRIMORDIAL TODDLERS.
the reason why you were crawling on your hands and knees from room to room last night was because you thought the ceiling fans were chasing you...
that makes sense.
I ate a lot of your sunchips. I mean a lot. Like 4 to 5 bags.
dude all my bootycalls are going to Eclipse tonight... Do I really want it that bad?
Why do I feel like the only way for this trip to end is alcohol poisoning?
Currently coming up with judgment, the game. Works well on buses, will probably be more entertaining in bars.
He says I tipped the waitress ten dollars because she "smelled like pigs in a blanket."
i had choclate birthday cake for breakfast and am currently flossing my teeth w a condom wrapper. at work. hot mess for 200 alex
Omg it was awesome. At one point she says "cum in me, I'm too old to get pregnant".
id one day like to live in a world full of emotionless and wonderfully fullfilling sex...
Did I really just send a work email with cum instead of come? feck me
He ate me out on the front lawn of the post office. The people in the office across the road definitely got a show!
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