i just pissed myself at work. maybe they'll buy the old coffee spill trick
i woke up to her playing with my penis. just wiggling it around and around. awkward night? i would say so.
Just scheduled a cocaine deal around my drug counsler appointment. Why yes, thank you, I do enjoy the irony that is my life.
my dad just referred to me and my boobs as 'the three of you'
I might not be able to enter cuba but that doesn't mean that a cuban can't enter me
I couldn't open my car door and for a second I thought they were taking me to an intervention circle.
JAMES WASHOMGTON STATE ATTACKED US
WE'RE FYCKED UL HARDCORW
THE REISLING ATRACEX US
i am an animal i am literally locking myself in my house and not coming out for a week i don't deserve to be in public
Apparently it's bring your ugly annoying ass piece of shit slob of a baby day at work
and everyone will high five me and girls will approach me offering blowjobs
sigh, if only his dick was as big as his mouth
Hey, it's all about finding the bright side. And boobs are definitely a bright side.
She rode my dick so hard I momentarily lost hearing. I guarantee I had the better St Patrick's.
You ever sit back and realize our friendship is based off us ranting at each other with random animal photos thrown in
omg last night while walking home from your house I stole a seatless bike and carried it into my next door neighbors kitchen.. we just looked It up online it's an antique and worth $500 dollars
Randomize
