she is graduated, working for the school, and puking in the bathroom of a frat house. she wants brush her hair so she doesnt "look trashy". im in love.
he asked me to help him wrap his girlfriends birthday presents. Dont worry we fucked right after.
you told the cop you blew a .08 because you ate poppy seeds
the elusive kegmastree, who's mystery is only exceeded by it's power
He told the cop he was underage, handed the cop his ID, and the police report read "I then informed the suspect that he was not, in fact, underage"
Hickey on my chest, threw out my elbow and now walking out my shame.
Youre getting too old for this
I decided tomorrow is going to be great day wether my period likes it or not
Well, I found my bra. It's in my glove compartment with a half-eaten Snickers bar and a Jesus bookmark.
Start warming up your vocal cords, because Fucking With The Windows Open season has arrived.
I AM GONNA CUM EVERYWHERE TONIGHT BRO.
I'm pretty sure my calc professer is on coke. He's just too excited for this to be an 8am class.
The fact that I’m not married yet means there are millions of lucky girls out there who have dodged a bullet
I just got dumped by my fuck buddy. Now I have to have sex with my husband.
this kid sitting diagonally in front of me is searching "cheap bongs" on google. hahahhaaha. who does this kid think he is?
I had a threesome with my hot neighbor and his GF and by threesome I mean I heard them getting it on in their apartment and I was in my apartment with a vibrator
and I may have moaned his name loud enough that they heard me because now he won’t make eye contact
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