Is it 'vaginas' or 'vaginae?'. Either way there were a shit ton of them.
Oh. My. God. Best non-relationship, he-might-be-cheating-on-his-boyfriend-but-I-can't-tell-because-of-the-language-barrier sex EVER!
But sometimes ur dick treats me better than u do
No, dude. Even Jesus hates Creed.
Woke up handcuffed to a half gallon of beam. Yep. This is my life.
No idea how he made them, but vodka water balloons were a horrible idea.
I'm sorry you couldn't sneak away today. You're the only guy I'm fucking that I can talk with about the other guys I'm fucking, and I need some advice
Just did a slip and slide down a five story staircase in my dorm. Being an engineer is fucking awesome
He said to use 30 racks as chairs and then drink til we fall thru the box
I'm holding onto the sink for dear life. Pretty sure if Iet go I'll turn into a shit propelled man rocket.
I either have a razor blade lodged in my throat or I've been drinking entirely too much Evan Williams.
Please, by all means, tell me what can't be helped by two stiff drinks & a blowjob?
You just gave me the title for the series of our lives. Haha. Chapter 12: the cocaine on the back of the hairbrush
I mean, I already put pants on today. We're already halfway there
I licked your asshole in confidence.
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