It is 3am. I'm at a pizzeria with my 4 friends. The one to my right is throwing up on herself, the one to my left is crying hysterically by herself, the one in front of me is passed out on the table, and the other is trying to find a taxi and I'm pretty sure a guy is sticking his hand up her skirt. Tourists are taking pictures. Help me.
I just threw up in a patch of wild flowers on the side of the road. I never knew rock bottom was so beautiful.
i'm traumatized. his orgasm face consisted of him looking like my dead grandfather and burping.
Spent 200 bucks on a stripper for a good night hug. I give up.
I was going to text him and apologize but I didn't want him to think that meant I approved of him being my niece's booty call.
Her fucking playlist had randy newman on it. It was like woody was watching the whole time.
The penis is a tricky weapon to use. When using it as leverage you have to make it seem emotional. I'd rather use it as a club sometimes.
I'm trying to ve beat feiesnd sent.
He's rescued me passed out naked on the playground next door and I've rescued him passed out naked in the middle of campus. That's why we're a great couple.
I don't know what to think. Also, I decided to take a bath...sorry in advance if I flood the bathroom.
Great sex, the promise of us mixing our excellent genetics in the future, and access to drugs are mainly what's holding this relationship together at the moment
He just used the word frick. Is that a possible red flag?
It doesn't count as "finding the lesbian" if you fuck a straight girl!
We kept having to tell you that you couldn't just sit wherever you wanted at Walmart. Sitting in the middle of the raw meat section was unacceptable and children were staring at you.
I enjoy the company of your penis
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