i think i have herpe
just one?
Just caught my bro jerking off to a lane Bryant catalog
I think thanksgiving was created so we could all be thankful that we're still alive after the night before.
My RA just gave me tips on how to have discreet shower sex. Were we that loud?
i really should have bought real food rather than condoms, olives, coleslaw and beer...
I have a huge gash on my chin. Did I get it from A) a mini siezure; B) an oral sex incident; C) Slamming it into a ledge or; D) all of the above?
I know it I should, but it's kinda nice. It's smells like unbridled enthusiasm and copious amounts of melt your face off sex.
Omg, those nutella cakes are heavenly, like licking the nipples of a muscular black Jesus.
Sushi was just eaten off my naked body. I feel like I can die in peace now.
I just got a job offer for Australia. Unfortunately I have given the name of Whitney
He's good looking but he really sounds like kermit the frog, can you imagine how fucking him would sound like?
I'm a full-grown woman and thusly I expect my sphincters to behave themselves.
the man at taco bell in the drive thru window tried to sell me his mix tape
his single is called “stick some holes in it”
Yea...Let's just say I gave her the best 3 and half minutes of her life then she took a 40 minute cab ride home that she paid for...
listen. i haven't sucked a dick in well over three years but i believe in myself.
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