He actually believes he's not an alcoholic if he doesn't go to meetings.
you refused to come out of the bathroom until i asked you in spanish
I knew her barely 30 minutes before we got naked. This whole fraternity thing is starting to grow on me...
I cleared a drunken path to my bed for you. If you hit clothes you've gone too far.
I mean, I'm all about sharing, but when he tells me about his wet dreams about Oprah, I think it's taking it too far.
Her mom caught her drunk streaking when she was 12. Of course she's perfect for me.
Even the bar was yelling boobs, so of course the shirt came off
I am 100% planning on being drunk on Wednesday. This is America. Work or no work.
no. i discovered the *exact* amount of drugs i need to do to understand calculus.
I'm at the point in my life where I'm gonna sell my eggs for cash
Come on, what straight woman, gay man, or bi person HASN'T scrolled through Justin Trudeau pictures after a bad day?
If God is analyzing my life right now extremely proud or dissapointed but either way I took wednesday night drinkin to new levels
Why the fuck is there raw bacon in my bra. I don't even have a stove.
i had to flash a cab last night.
did it work?
No. he slowed down but then kept going. story of my life.
I just puked into a clean basket of laundry.
Randomize
