Uggggg i want to leave and get bombed over baghdad
She's JV to your varsity
dude, boobs are like the porridge in goldylocks
I think we need to find a happy medium between fried food and dicks. This could end badly.
The great thing about skinny blondes is that they're all interchangeable.
Close your eyes and stop texting and think about puppies. You'll be fine.
Last night was the first and hopefully last night I will ever sleep in a hotel bath tub. Sober mind you.
I'm not even gonna ask.
And don't try to lose a condom in me tonight. My vagina is not a storage compartment where you can just leave something and try and use it again later in the week.
He offered to buy me free breakfast if I stayed at the hotel overnight with him. I then realized they have a complimentary breakfast.
Asking me to suck on my nipples isn't going to make me less mad at you.
Also that boy who jizzed in me wearing Cowboy boots and a plaid shirt snapped me at 4 am and said "I owe you a dinner. Sorry"
i wish he'd fuck me as good as he is at karate.
Nice. I got home at like 3am.stopped at Walmart for a vacuum and weirdly a trash can. Not sure why high me last night needed a new trashcan.
I was watchin a porno and I sware I saw that dude at the bar at applebees the other night
He was all “please don’t bail because I’m missing work for this” last night
Honey no, I need dick. I’m not going to bail
Randomize
