There's nothing more uncomfortable than drifting into sexual fantasies on a roadtrip and realizing you have a boner with three other dudes in the car.
Just heard the new 'We are the world' ... Can I get my 10 bucks for Haiti back?
I tapped out to boredom. She bought me a full meal at Subway. Two tap beers and a pretty weak long island iced tea. I'm five dollars cheaper to fuck than she is.
He always grinds on me and is like "This is awesome because we're both Catholic!"
i yelled at him for a little and we ended up fucking in a random tennis court.
You grabbed her hand and started jacking her finger off. She was horrified.
Did it finish?
The Deck is crawling with Cougars. Sound the irresponsibility alarm and come drink with me on a Tuesday night.
It's a "nonproductive" (vocab word) cough. It's like a constant tickle in my throat, like there's a little elf with feathers for feet going Gangnam style on my "uvula" (vocab word).
Brandon just showed up at my place with a florida state cheerleader he met in vegas durin spring break. His life is a fucking movie
You forgot the part where I played Slip and Slide with my own puke and fucked up my knee.
I'm home, and it turns out she didn't get it all. still picking Oreos out of my pubes.
I've decided that buying my first unused mattress has been my first major step into real adulthood.
I am so sorry. Not sure for what, but whatever I did last night probably merits an apology, so I'm covering my bases.
Someone messaged me on POF and wished me a Happy International Women's Day. Why do I even bother anymore?
You don't know the capacity of my vagina
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