I am really glad that on the inside of a card from your grandparents you have transcribed the rules for circle of death
I told him to show me what he was made of and he came on my face. law students are so technical.
you assured me you'd make it home safe because your pizza rolls were waiting up for you.
Right when I walked into the party my boyfriend stood up and yelled, "HEY TITS, GET ME A BEER!"
dude thats like the second time shes peed on the couch at a party. we cant invite her anymore
for future reference: playing drunken strip-twister is a euphemism for a threesome. just thought you should know.
I am a human short and spout . Here is my jager Herr is my redbull . When i get real drink i shout out. Tip me over and pour yeager out
I wish! That ended in 2001 when we all got collectively band from the Settle Inn. As a group we are also band from social events at the zoo. It's impressive really.
In other more interesting news I'm going to arrange a surprise orgy. You in?
I hope Team Snapchat has been enjoying our sex snaps all this week.
I heard them banging and it sounded like he was trying to stuff a fucking coconut into her
Is it too early in the day to ask a nipple-related question?
So the bar crawl I'm on is a "90s bar crawl" and I made the joke about a few overweight girls that "lack of concern for your weight is so 90s" it did not end well
Last night when I blacked out, I ate Chef Boyardee. I never want to be that drunk ever, ever again.
Remember those neighbors I thought were FBI agents? Turns out they're DEA.
Randomize
