During sex he started singing that song in Forgetting Sarah Marshall--"Inside of You"--by Russell Brand
Vibrating panties would be amazing during this conversation!
I'm pretty sure he jizzed in his pants, and no it wasn't even half as funny as that song.
i forgot i changed ur name in my phone to "the situation" so when u texted me i got really excited for a hot second
i thought we decided on me being "the altercation" instead
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
well now i know if i ever need to drive puke and talk on the phone at the same time i can
Don't worry. I has chaperone.
We were fucking at break-dick speeds.
I woke up to him yelling "WHO SLEEPS WITH A BEER IN THEIR HAND?!?" this of course, startled me awake and made me spill the aforementioned beer. So I guess the a answer is- not this girl, not anymore. Asshole
The squirrels are partying on my roof again. Now they're just rubbing it in that I'm home alone on a Saturday night and they're having orgies.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Fuckin wine wasted last night. Found my pants in the toilet this morning.
Do you remember biting my ear and whispering quotes of Pride and Prejudice last night?
SO DRUNK
PUKED IN DRIVEWAY
TELL PARENTS SORRY
It's a sad day when a deadly hurricane headed your way is less depressing than your relationship status.
DO NOT TOUCH THE SOAP ITS HAD SOME UNORTHODOX USES WITHIN THE PAST 15 HOURS
Through a complicated series of events, I wound up in the desert with a blue chick from comic-con. we lost peter. if you're alive, please come get us.
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