There's a show on bravo about fat people dancing. FAT PEOPLE. DANCING.
This is god's gift to the unemployed.
I opened up her dishwasher and all I found was a spoon, a juice glass and all her sex toys.
Then you got really excited when I upgraded you from puke bowl to puke bucket.
you announced to everyone at the bar "fuck girls. they're confusing. im gonna start having sex with boys now"
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Not too sure about the toy story pull ups. The kids point to their crotch all day and say woody.
it's like her boobs came off with her bra
I say we get drunk before the exam tomorrow. At least then we have a valid excuse for failing.
found my necklace. it was safe with all 6 boxes of peeps that i bought that night.
Boy did I ever crash and burn on the pickled egg pick up line.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
YOU'RE CHANGING THE SUBJECT. I CAN BLOW SOMETHING UP OR I CAN TELL HIM YOU LOVE HIM, BUT ONE OF THE TWO IS BOUND TO HAPPEN
Things that happen while I poop: I start dating someone
We woke up today with 24 donuts, a tie, two jugs of vodka that we traded an extra sandwich for, and a british boy
Also: that bruise on my leg where you left like 3 sets of teeth marks keeps getting run into the corners of desks and shit. And I can't even complain to anyone at work
By the end of our first date my penis was pierced.
Its like he got lessons from Jesus on how to use his tongue. And his dick.
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