she had the hairiest bush ive ever seen. it looked like a spoiled head of lettuce.
i think i should save myself the $200 for a prom dress. i mean why bother. its just going to be covered in vodka/jizz/and puke by the end of the night.
Yeah you fell over while you were peeing and you said "hold I'm, I'm still peeing"
I've ID'd the nipple biter.
True life. I have to get a nose job due to a deviated septum from blowing coke. Thank you college.
Ya I guess if we compared our actions now with our actions 2 years ago. We are definitely in a constant state of shit showness.
Responsible roommate: 1. Someone who takes a huge shit at work so as not to clog the toilet at home.
I put tequila in my salad dressing yesterday. Step the fuck up.
Met Dan at the park for lunch and the guy parked next to us was getting a BJ the entire time. Way to make me feel like an inadequate girlfriend, random park skank. All Dan got was a double cheeseburger and a large iced tea...
He probably thinks you're playing hard to get.
Hard to get?? I'm playing leave me the fuck alone.
somebody should make me the poster child for not drinking everclear..
so I found out I could dislocate my shoulders on demand while I was trippin on e last night...
I couldn't find a lighter, so I smoked a bowl with a birthday candle.
I've had sex to the movie Tommy Boy too many times to be acceptable.
I’d feel the same about religion. We can talk about it, but I want you to go down on me first
Randomize
