I like the name aiden. he likes stella. I told him they're coming out of my vagina, and I will name them what I damn well please. Stella goes.
yeah but it's new years. they should arrest people for being sober that day.
I FOUND THE PROF I'M GOING TO FUCKKKK.
reason #14 for loving my boobs...just got out of a 40mph over the limit speeding ticket thru a work zone. i dont think the cop knew i even had a face
he designed a suit out of pillows to protect himself when he fell.
engineering majors are such efficient drunks.
last day of my family cruise we all got trashed and had an award ceremony. I got the award for hooking up with a cougar. my grandma hugged me and said im living up to the legacy. this is why my familys better than yours
I wish you would just come have sex with me in ihop. I don't want to be here
Weirdly I'm doing ok, but I've tested positive for chlamydia, I wanted to let you know
On a side note...my DUI lawyer just snapchatted me. This is the exact moment in time when I realized my like IS a joke.
So random question. Does beer act the same as other alcohol disinfectants?
man my uterus needs to drop the egg or GTFO, BUUUSHIT
Opened the browser on my phone to a web search for midget birth rates per capita. A good night.
I'm not the type to go to a guys house...in your case his boat...and sleep with them..I mean I have in the past but I'm trying to be more serious and grown up
I went to finger her and found a penny. I think ill keep it.
Of course he did! You’ve seen my tits, you know he didn’t stand a chance!
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