Here's my recipe for happiness. Go get a pen. 1. smoke a bowl 2. put on explosions in the sky 3. take a bath. Do this for about 1 hour or until all your problems go away.
Now would be a great time to stop wondering " Who let the dogs out" and go to sleep
Just washed my feet between classes in the bathroom...Four girls totally judged me...
At this point it has been so long i wouldnt know what a dick was if it slapped me in the face.
I won't be sarcastic... just naked
I've developed breathing exercises to keep myself from puking..
Best elective surgery ever. Having a great time ignoring girls' pleas to pull out and blowing it inside anyway. I like to watch them absolutely freak out and go batshit crazy for 20 mins before I mention the snip-snip surgery. Power trip.
After this weekend, it looks come this holiday season I'll be walking in a winter abortionland.
you shall refer to me as my indian name from now on...running with dumb cunts
I'm mailing you cans of corn and that's final.
You had a fry stuck to your face... Every five mins you would wake up, take a bite, put it back then fall asleep again...
I can already feel the hangover I'll be having on New Year's Day. I don't know if I'm prepared for this.
I was floored. Like way less concerned with him using drugs than I am with him not believing in evolution.
Fuck him and his perfect arms, huge penis and relentless ability to ignore me.
If he has a beard, chances are, that’s an open invitation to sit on his face
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