i can smell the iron from margo's period blood from across the table.
took 5 apple pie shots. caution: flames. not digestable.
just watched an entire episode so you think you can dance for head. so wasn't worth it
and I asked her"are you allergic to condoms latex like your older sister " she said "Idk this is gonna be my 1time"
I found my old addy guy via fb who clearly understands the supply and demand curve of addy during finals so he's gonna hook me up.
man i wonder what i would be like if i had never started smoking weed
Guy having heart attack in McDonalds. Classic.
If I started a story with "That three-year-old totally deserved it," would you listen?
Apparantly 7 1/2 Vicodin is a 1/2 too many.
seeing two hook-ups in tagged in the same picture will send chills down anyone's spine.
Intramural soccer game tonight. Be ready for blood. I haven't sobered up since thursday
This is why you are going on a date. To see if he is fun or if we need to shank him in the parking lot.
He will forever be known as the toe sucker who may or may not have been a father
I think I just scared the sex out of my booty call. He saw me at the grocery store using one of those "future mother" parking spots right next to the handicap ones. He just made eye contact and drove off. I regret my laziness.
HANDS OFF UNTIL AFTER I DO BUTT STUFF WITH HIM.
Randomize
