***** fucked a guy with one hand last night
And then I chipped his tooth because I got too into it. Helloo, single life.
Don't make me choose between a good grade and anal
i literally in my bathroom watching tv from across the hall while trying not to fall asleep with my dog keeping my feet warm. wednesday's shouldnt be like this
I woke up to a paper award certificate for best blow job and he was gone. You're welcome mystey man.
Just found the video that explains the neighborhood applause. Your landlord is awesome, and the clothes are on the roof
There's some muscle relaxers in my bedside table. Sorry if my dildo is in the bathroom.
He bought me a oreo ice cream cake with "thanks for not calling the cops!" written in icing. If that doesn't sum up winter break, I don't know what does.
Listen to my proposal.... I feed you crackers while I fuck you ever so gently.
Dude we smoked with a bunch of random stoners in a forest, then group hugged. It was the most magical thing we've ever done.
I puked and rallied in front of a cop...and then waved at him....
Yeah. I couldn't figure out why my toes hurt. Apparently, the guy I was dancing with, kept running them over with his wheelchair.
She made me a smoothie in the morning.. It was vodka and fruit.
Am I the only one who finds it completely appropriate to pre-game our Brazilians?
Only if I get to be Gritty
How would you be Gritty for a fantasy hockey league?
Don't worry about it.
Randomize
