Baton twirling is one of his activities on facebook.
Also he is "an Ohio stae gran champion twirler". You cannot tell me he's straight
i woke up with toilet paper straight tucked up in my underwear wearing a pizza sauce mustach. I dont think i got laid last night.
my co-worker, his best friend who also works with us, an my baby daddy, ive turned love triangle into a retarded shape with to many sides to pronounce
Will you come get her? She's trying to get the pizza guy into the bathtub.
We're too lazy too send a pic of out balls. Just assume this is a pic of our balls and respond accordingly.
Most awkward car ride ever. Kid in the front seat was bawling, 2 in the backseat were ready to fight, and I was giving the last kid a handie. This needs to stop happening to us.
You were in subway at 3am showing everyone your tan lines
WHAT THE FUCK JASON, WHY IS THERE A FREE BLOW JOBS BY LISA SIGN IN MY FRONT LAWN WITH MY PHONE NUMBER ON IT?! PEOPLE ARE PULLING INTO MY DRIVEWAY!
well, at the moment I'm sleeping in someone's closet in a buzzlightyear snuggie, so I can't judge,
Carver called his mom a milf again
Was it on purpose this time?
I think it's important to not involve Bar Food in any near future decisions.
Grandma cant send me 4 lbs of gummi bears and expect me not to soak them in some sort of alcohol
Memeber that time you got detained in Poland. We don’t talk about that enough
For one week of my life every time I pull my cock out I want the Jurassic Park theme music to start playing.
You know you're out of shape when you're sore after masturbating.
Randomize
