if i can run in heels then i can drive
Nope, Im Irish and pissed with some drunk mixed in...therefore punching things is the best solution to every problem.
She said as long as i don't wake her up she doesn't care what hole i use.
Got yourself a keeper right there.
a woman just threw her tv out the window while screaming "will you fucking work now?". i'm never moving
I discovered the grieving process is shock, denial, anger...and then something about drinking until you puke on yourself
I'm surprised you like me... I didn't think I was your type.
Blonde hair and big tits is every guys type.
It's been a wonderful constant drunkeness. We played Marco polo with some random like 8 yr olds in the kiddie pool.
maybe volvos are so family friendly and safe because they're extremely uncomfortable to get fucked on.
I've been there a week.. I'd rather all my coworkers not know that I'm already sleeping with my boss.
I would have publicly shamed him but I'm pretty sure his tramp stamp did that on its own...
It's not your birthday unless mom picks you up at the bar
Naptime over. I've got fresh contacts and tequila. RAAAAAAGE!
We were dancing and then he pointed to the club floor and there was money that I dropped everywhere. That was the nicest thing someone has ever done for me.
Just saw 4 of my students at Denny's at 4am on a Tuesday. We all pretended not to see each other, as we are all clearly tipsy and/or stoned. Class is in less than 4 hours. Either i'm getting too old for this shit or they're starting on the road to crazy-town much earlier these days.
That married penis I’ve been riding offered to pay off my student loans. I was going to break it off because he has lousy stamina. Is being debt free worth putting up with mediocre sex?
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