i just took a sip of diet coke and i said " as soon as it hits my lips i wanna smoke a cig." then i thought of your dick.
Note to Self: No matter how horny, turned on or in the moment you are, never go down on your gf after she had soccer practice.
When were having sex he was mumbling some guys name. If he wasn't as hot as he is I'd be concerned.
You drank everything last night. It was like this huge deconstructed long island that went on for 5 hours
Whatever. I'm just trying to get my dick sucked while taking online harmonica lessons
it's gotten to the point where there are no existing good choices. even our good choices are bad choice by anyone's standards but ours.
We should have a bouncer at the top of our stairs asking the guys we bring home for ID...
Just bought weed from the ice cream man. The kid in front of me got a tootie fruitie.
Can you bring me a corn dog or something shaped like one?
and if planning a fake elopement keeps me from fucking strangers and doing drugs, i think it's good for me
I just got home and someone ate all my chicken nuggets. Bitches be asking for a death sentence?
We are 100% horrible people, and im extremely happy we are friends
We are so drunk half our team had to bowl with a chaperone. We won every game. We drink
Glow Paint looked great for the Black Light Party last night, Tonight having a glow in the dark Pizza on my arm, not so much.
Sorry. We had to leave because I knocked a guy out for saying "yolo".
Randomize
