So would u like to explain why you ate all my pickels and took my 1800?
About that, i have your 1800 on my desk with intentions of returning it but theres nothing i can do about the pickels
it's like everything I expected to see tonight all put together in one at once
that is the greatest description ever
He gave his mom his old phone, and I am SO paranoid
Did you send adult things?
Um. Yes would be the understatement of the year
u sent me just one boob. one just doesnt do it for me. u dont get full on a half a rack of ribs u need a full one
okay so using the row boat as a giant snow sled probably wasn't the best idea.
He told me he loved me mid lick. Anyone that can look at me from that angle, lick my vagina, and say they love me must absolutely mean it
I can't tell if they're having sex or watching the beach scene from Saving Private Ryan. All I know is I hear explosions and men screaming and crying
You screamed "show me a dick stand!" But before I could ask you wft that was you had passed out in the corner
Hey texans ride hard. He should have known what he was in for when I asked to sit on his face. The broken nose was a BADGE he just earned.
Dude, chad is laying across the room, violently, passionately, pornographicly eating something and I seriously think the 'some thing' is fighting back.
Apparently duct taping your dick to your buttcheks before the first time she goes down on you isn't as funny as projected. She cried because she thought I was a girl the whole time.
" my drug dealer just stopped by and did an elmo impression for my 2 year old nephew."
There are two guys here arguing over Pearl jam and Nirvana. 1991 wants its argument back.
Theres a woman here with grey hair that im pretty sure i would have sex with
Woke up went to work ate beef after three year hiatus shat my pants went to bed
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