You can't special order awesome
I just put on my hot pinky lace thong... you know what that means! ;)
Oh god. Slutty you is on the run. Someone needs to alert the city.
she tried giving me head in the pool. it was more entertaining than pleasurable
after i talked him through a bulleted list of why we couldn't have sex he just said "but it would be fun...."
I can't even tell you how many rave sticks I tore apart with my teeth last night.
I. Did. In fact. Sprain. My liver. This. Weekend.
How big of a disservice to the economy would we be doing if we didn't drink every day holiday break?
You asked the bartender if she was trying to get you drunk. She cut you off after that.
I heard you coughing. Are you choking or smoking? And are you okay?
I just used bulldog clips for nipple clamps. Also, a wooden spoon as a paddle. DYI Domination or Ghetto Bondage?
He could only go twice. I need a guy with more stamina and is less married
With a butt like mine I'll never have to pay for Netflix again.
You told us that you were going to become a 'new man' and threw your tv set out of a window.
Everyone is all excited about the iPhone 7 being water resistant and I'm only concerned with whether or not it can be destroyed by salsa or cum
What the hell was that?
Genius. It was sheer genius.
Randomize
