Can i come over
After you called me a desperate slut? No
Come over
Tell me why I go to the dollar store for nail polish remover and a ghetto black dude trys to hit on me in the parking lot, then he gets in line behind me with a dousche bag literally and that is his only purchase.
Buying beer for freshmen. No matter what they ask for, I'm getting them Colt 45.
Still at the library. i hate tax accounting so much that i've started calling it potions...
Emergency need house key where r u I just got shit o n
No. My vagina is not the scapegoat for your poor decisions.
He needs to respect me before he can fuck me with cat ears on.
Fell down the metal stairs and some guy tried to fight me after you left. I fell asleep with cadbury eggs in my mouth too.
I had an epiphany. If a dude dressed up as Batman to ask me out, I'd prolly marry him.
The friend zone. He put me in the friend zone. But said he still wants me to suck his dick. I'm in the dick sucking friend zone and I want to die.
He sent me a pic stitch collage of all the tit pics I had sexted him this month. It was so sweet!
I'm convinced he's the patron saint of oral sex
I'm writing off my condom expenses in my taxes
Omg I just woke up in his bed.. I'm fully clothed and he is naked. I'm so confused.
I just saw elmo dancing with gumby. The bars at 7a.m. are AWESOME.
Randomize
